I miss blogging. Well, not necessarily the actual blogging part, like having to think of what to say. But I miss having something to go back to and read later...something to help me remember what was going on and who I was at some particular time.
I will be blogging alot over the next 6 months I have a feeling - because I will be in Uganda. I leave in less than 2 weeks. But that will be at Uganda-journey.blogspot.com (sorry Xanga, I've been cheating on you for a while I'm afraid). In spite of that, though, I have decided to begin blogging here about "normal" life until I leave and hopefully will continue to once I return from Africa. I say "normal" because life over the last year or so has been anything but normal (was it ever?).

I came home from Philadelphia on the last day of June 2008. Very much a different person. I will leave here almost exactly one year from then, on June 29th 2009. When I came home I did not think I would be here for a year. I thought 3, 4 months at the most. I might have done some things differently if I had known how long I would be here...but maybe that's why I wasn't allowed to know. Oh well...what's done is done, eh?

2008:
July - Helped out at camp, thought about what sort of jobs to apply for
August - Applied for jobs, applied for internships, applied applied applied, interviewed interviewed interviewed
September - Accepted job as a preschool teacher at Kindercare, began working in the 3's class
October - Got moved to the toddler class. Enjoyed being home and hanging out with friends. Sick for the whole month. Met up with Gloria in Alexandria, VA at Margie's place, to wish Gloria well before she headed off to Bangladesh. We got a puppy. Bella :)
November - Went to visit Jessie, Nicole, and Meggelles in Dayton. Thanksgiving.
December - Grandpa got sick & put in the hospital. Went to Dayton for Jessie Ann's graduation from Bryan. Went to Orlando to the Pioneer's Missions conference
2009:
January - Grandpa came home, but then went back to the hospital, then to the nursing home. Scourge Conference at Bryan. I was sick for the whole month again.
February - Buckner Missions Conference in Knoxville: "Go Be Do". Accepted to go with Every Child Ministries to Uganda in July
March - Great Grandma Lucy got sick, and passed away 2 weeks later. Grandpa Thomas still in nursing home & hospital, back and forth.
April - My 24th birthday. Officially old. Ashley Kaye's wedding in Ooltewah. Invisible Children's The Rescue in Chattanooga with Kelly, Sara, and Chad! Visited the Lost Sea on the way home.
May - Went to Nicole's graduation from Bryan.
June - Daniel & Amy's wedding.

To sum up the last 12 months: mundane, distressing, anxious, frustrating, saddening, draining, exciting, overwhelming.

It has been difficult to have a good attitude. Alot of the time life in general has just sucked. More for those around me, such as my grandmother, who lost her mother and has had to watch her husband suffer for the last 7 months (needlessly - he would have been out of the hospital in about 2 weeks from the original date, except for complications from negligence on the hospital's part). For Grandpa, who has been flat on his back for 6 months and has lost all ability to consume food normally, having to be fed through a feeding tube....being unable to be there for Grandma and go to Grandma Lucy's funeral....unable to do the things he loves to do. And yet through it all they rely on the Lord and give Him the glory for anything good in their lives. I try to do the same... try to not take their example for granted.

I have not been able to keep up with people as much as I like, either from college, or grad school, or even from around here....everyone is just so busy, including myself. I never did fully adjust to having a full time job! Maybe it was the hours, getting off so "late" (6:00)....or maybe I'm just a wimp....or maybe 12 one-year-olds just aren't meant to be in the same room together at any time....but it would just completely wear me out and I wouldn't feel like doing anything after work, not even making a phone call or writing an email sometimes, let alone hanging out with people! I am thankful for the job I had, however, knowing that many people are without them these days. I had fun people to work with, and got along great with my co-teachers, so that made it bearable in spite of the pay and the getting sick every other week (or for the full months of October and January). I think those two cons are enough to keep me from working there again. I just need to remember that when I get back from Africa. It would be the easy next step...but I really need to find something 1. that pays more, 2. more along my lines of future dreams, and 3. something that allows for moving up (not just moving around).

Well folks I am sleepy so this is going to be all for now. More for my benefit and remembering than for your enjoyment, as it was not an entertaining post. Oh well. :P

This week shall prove interesting as I try to finish up shopping and packing and getting ready for both Uganda Lobby days and then....leaving for Uganda. for 6 months. What was I thinking.

I have met Burn-out face to face. Four years of college, and I don't think I ever officially met him....but one year of graduate school (piled right on top of those 4 years of college, without a break) and now Burn-out and I are rather familiar acquaintances, at the very least. Anyways....all that said, the point is, I have not felt like opening a book for several months now. This past spring semester I had to force myself to open my textbooks, and sometimes I even failed at that. This summer, I packed a box of books in Philly and specifically wrote on the box "books to read this summer." I have been reading two of them since Christmas break... but I lost interest in those, and started two others...but only made it a few pages through each. If you know me you know that something is a little off here. I am a book-reading fiend, when I am myself. But Burn-out has kind of taken away the enjoyment of the very idea of reading, even a relaxing, for-fun, non-school-book. It's rather annoying and I wish I'd never met him.

But anyways... all that to say....then, I went to the store the other day and saw The Shack for less than $10. I usually buy my books on half.com, but I figured it's rather new and I would probably end up paying $10 after shipping & handling anyways. So, I bought it. I had heard several people mention it, but really had no idea what it was about or what the big deal was. I did not put it down the rest of that day. I have been reading it, at least some, every day since then - the most I have read (other than school books) in about 8 months. The only reason I put it down at all is because every few pages, it becomes so intense or there is some bit of truth that is so... challenging and convicting that I just have to take a break from it. Usually, when I read a book, I take my time...I underline things, and also write notes or quotes or my thoughts on the book in a journal. With this one - I can't even bring myself to stop and do that - I am going to read it straight through without writing anything down, and the second that I finish the last page, I am going to start back at page #1. Maybe I will start taking notes & quotes then...or maybe I will have to read it through again and then take notes on the 3rd time. I'm not sure. It's that intense.

All this to say, I highly recommend it.

"More than a billion websites, and you had to pick this one."
-error message I received today on a website where the "file no longer exists."

Sorry!